IIC Coaching Blog

Coaching Tips for All Levels

Quick Tip:    Coach only those clients who have come of their own accord! 

From time to time, you will have a parent who will ask you to Coach their “problem child”.  Or, a manager will ask you to Coach one of their “problem employees”.  Two thoughts here:

1.  Ensure that the child/employee truly wants the Coaching.  If they are there to please their parent or their boss, the results will not be the same because their heart will not be into the process.  Make sense?  Get into the habit of asking your Client “Are you here of your own accord?”  If they aren’t, have a conversation about the benefits of Coaching for them.  This could shift a paradigm and allow them to work with you whole-heartedly.  In addition this question is written right into the Coaching Contract which they sign prior to the beginning of the coaching process. 

2.  Whenever a parent or manager requests that I coach someone, I usually engage them in a conversation about the benefits of having both parties participate in Coaching.  I emphasize that relationships are always “a two way street”.  The manager, for example, could learn how to better communicate with this “problem employee”.  The parent could learn how to assist their child in developing innovative solutions to problems and challenges. 

Coaching Tips for All Levels

Quick Tip:  Never be tempted to mentor your Client mid session. 

Scenario:  You are in the middle of a coaching session with a Client.  Suddenly, your Client turns to you and asks something like “So Coach, what would you do in this situation if you were me?”  In other words they are asking for your opinion in the middle of a session … and it is tempting!  You are simply gushing over with ideas to help them!  Don’t do it. 

Remember that coaching is primarily about asking the Client questions so that they can come up with their own answers.  If you stop and mentor (share your ideas) before the Client has thoroughly explored the situation themselves and the emotions have been addressed, the Client’s brain is not ready to receive the ideas because the physiological receiver (receptor) is still constricted*.  The Client could shut down and not take action on any ideas because they may go into fear.  It could shut them down for years.  (Experience is the teacher here.)

Mentor

only at the end of the coaching session during the planning stage and only if the Client gives you permission to do so.

* Read about receptors in "Molecules of Emotion" by Candace Pert, PhD, Neuroscientist.  Listen to her genius CD entitled "Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind". 

Coaching Tips for all Levels

Quick Tip:  Clients prefer a non-directive approach to coaching.

Source:  Bacon, T.R. and Spear, K.I. (2003).  “Adaptive Coaching”.

45% of over 2000 Fortune 500 executives surveyed said:

“60% would like better coaching”, “45% said that getting coaching with their current coach has not had much positive impact on their work performance”, “65% said they prefer a non-directive style of coaching and 83% prefer a coach who asks questions to help me explore issues myself”.

A large proportion of Executives, therefore, prefer a non-directive approach, they want the coach to help them explore for themselves and they want results. 

A wise move therefore, at the beginning of the coaching relationship, is to ask your Executive what type of approach s/he prefers.   

Moreover, arm yourself with superior coach training and personal credentials because Executives usually give you only one chance.  Make it a good one. 

Coaching Tips for all Levels

Quick Tip:  A “light” approach keeps Clients coming back for more.

A great Coach creates an “enjoyable” experience for the Client from beginning to end of the session.  There is “lightness” in the approach to represent hope and acceptance that all fears can be eliminated through The Law of Life:  “Love is stronger than fear.” 

Therefore, no matter how serious the challenge or goal, there are many ways to add lightness: a smile, kindness, a cup of herbal tea, honouring them for exhibiting a spiritual value such as courage, commitment, compassion and so on. 

If you are someone who hugs, save the hug for the end of the session.  Too early in the process a hug could easily keep the Client in victim mode.

A definition of coaching

It does us good to periodically revisit our reasons for doing things.  So I thought it would be a good idea to re post a definition of coaching.

“Coaching is about performing at your best through the individual and private assistance of someone who will challenge, stimulate and guide you to keep growing.” 

Essentially it is about helping you to reach self-actualisation - a point at which you not only truly know yourself but within this knowledge possess a feeling of comfort with and understanding of the person you discover.

Your coach engages in a collaborative alliance with you to establish and clarify purpose and goals and to develop a plan of action to achieve those goals.   They will establish an understanding of what is really important to you in life and subsequently enable you to take charge of your life; to construct and act upon action plans that will help you to realise these priorities. Put simply, coaching is about helping you to create and work towards the grandest version of the greatest personal vision you have; to achieve success - success being the continuous realisation of a worthy goal or ideal. 

You will be guided through a detailed process beginning with the need to re-evaluate your present position, who you really are, where your priorities lie and the need to make a definite and conscious decision about the future you would like to create.  With the help of a personal life coach you really can re-shape your life, overcome all the obstacles and live the life that you love.

Coaching is essentially a conversation - that is, a dialogue between you and your coach.  Within a productive, results-oriented context, coaching involves coaching you to access what you already know.  The reality is that you have the answers to all your questions - asked and unasked.  Your coach provides the essential assistance, support and encouragement to seek and find these answers; to guide you towards asking the right questions, and deal with the answers.

Coaching also incorporates learning and yet a coach is not a teacher and will not necessarily know how to do things better than you but this does not matter.  Your coach will observe patterns - set the stage for new actions and then work with you to put these new, more successful actions into place.  This involves learning through various coaching techniques such as listening, reflecting, asking questions and providing information.  Finally, and most importantly, your coach will help you learn how to become self-correcting and self-generating.  That is, you will learn how to correct your own behaviour, generate your own questions and find your own answers.

International Coffee

The ECI is looking for the best coffee shop around the world.  Take this opportunity to promote yourself and review your coffee shop.  Let us know:

1. What the ambiance is, in your selected coffee shop?

2. Whether you can plug your laptop in? 
...Is this a good environment to work in?

3. What is the quality of the coffee? 
...What choice of coffees and other drinks do you have?

4. What are the seating areas like? 
...Are there quiet seating areas that will allow you to meet with your clients,
...colleagues or friends?

5. How easy is it to find your selected coffee shop?

6. What makes your coffee shop unique?

Where is your coffee shop - it's location?  Is this a regular coffee shop or one you've come across on your travels?

We look forward to receiving and publishing your reports.  Take this opportunity to survey your coffee shop and send your report to coffee@the-eci.org.   

Major leap forward in coaching transparency

An international coaching register has now been launched for members of the public to see who is and who is not a qualified coach.  The register has been set up by the ECI who are one of the largest governing bodies for coaches and coach training internationally.  The ECI were invited to create the international register to protect the interests of clients and consumers.  This register will also provide a smooth transition if the regulation on coaching comes into effect.

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The register is for any individual who trades as a coach, who help individuals and/or organisations for example, establish a work life balance, manage stress levels and build communication skills amongst many other specialist areas. 

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Everyone who has qualified as a coach with a recognised coach training company should now take the opportunity to register.  This will dramatically cut down on any misrepresentation that goes on within the industry.  Many people have websites and call themselves a coach but have no actual qualifications.  The register will stop these people and raise the profile of genuine coaching and how it can transform people’s lives. 

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CEO of the ECI Gerard O’Donovan said “the register has been administered by the ECI for the benefit of the world of coaching and coaching clients.  It is also a great way for coaches to get business as members of the public can search for registered coaches in their area.  It brings coaching transparency at last.”

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For more information about the register please visit http://www.internationalcoachingregister.org