What would you do if you lost everything?

Here's a link to another video on TED which really speaks (quite literally) to a coaching exercise I've occasionally used.

Watch the video here.

In this video, filmmaker David Hoffman speaks for just four minutes on the fire that destroyed everything he owned; the house, his film archives, photos, projects, important papers, the records of his significant career.

And yet, while standing over the ashes he remembered his father saying to him, "Turn a negative into a positive." David kept replaying that line again and again in his mind as he viewed the ruins.

Although he doesn't fully elaborate on what is next for him, you do see the beginnings of future creative work inspired by burned remains of pictures. Interesting.

Even more interesting is the coaching exercise I've used with client's from time to time, in slightly different formats based on the situation, and of course for some different reasons based on the client's objectives.

Here are some of those questions for you (and I've generalised them somewhat).

Coaching Exercises

1. If suddenly everything you owned; home, car, clothes, photographs, papers and so on; was destroyed by a fire or some other disaster, how would you move forward? Think specifically of some of the things you'd do in chronological order, such as secure temporary shelter for you and your family, contact insurance company, contact employer, etc. But then move on past the initial basics. What would you then do to build your life from there?

2. Please note in the above question that I'm not using terms like "rebuild". This is significant for this question here. Your physical reminders of your memories (photos, etc) are gone. Sometimes we are very connected with these reminders and find it difficult to live without them. However, if they're gone, how will you remember your past? What are your options? What's something completely new you could do?

3. Sometimes we may feel tied down to our physical possessions and therefore not necessarily explore certain options. So for this hypothetical situation where you have lost all physical possessions, what sense of freedom does that give you? Where could you go? What could you do? What new adventure could you accept that you had previously rejected?

4. If the above questions were difficult for you to answer; possibly just being too close to home; then think about what other people who have gone through similar disasters do. How do they get through it? What strengths and resources do they have? How do they connect with other people in different ways to achieve common goals and support? What can you learn from them?

5. As a result of these questions, is there anything you are committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Comments

[Nicola]

I'm interested in this subject very much. In 1994 I lost pretty much everything i'd held dear in my life - my husband was hit and run and left with a brain injury, I lost my job, lost my home, our marriage disintergrated terribly over the next 2 years, despite me (or perhaps) being his carer.

I felt free when I finally left him. I remember going to bed (at a friends house) that first night and that my mind was quiet. I had nothing to worry about or think about - I could be who I wanted to be, i could explore a new life in a way I wanted.etc

However, here I am 12 years on - lots of hard work and changes later. I cannot contemplate losing what I have and despite for a long time having this faith in myself that I can cope iwth anything, a change has happened in me. Now, I have a wonderful partner and son and I could not ever wish to have them out of my life. Materially we are very comfortable and although I know I can live on the poverty line, I have no wish to go back there and it is one of my biggest fears. Is this my comfort zone and I don't wish to cross over?

I'm going to have a go at the exercises and think further.