I had a conversation with someone recently where the question was raised as to whether someone could be "too emotionally aware for their own good".
I found that to be really quite interesting and fascinating!
I see the "risks" of being emotionally aware falling into one of two categories (or possibly both depending on the context):
1. The emotionally aware individual finds it difficult to accept the differences between how aware they are of themselves and how unaware it may seem others around them are. Something else that happens in this category is that as individuals become more aware of what's important to them, and their own values, they can often see big gaps between how they want their environment/world to be and how it really is at the moment. This can be quite frustrating and in some cases painful to recognise and accept.
2. Others struggle to understand and relate with the emotionally aware person, particularly if their "emotional awareness" is getting in the way of the other's needs. An example of this might be where a friend or a colleague has a particular agenda or need which requires a particular behaviour from you, but your self awareness and emotional intelligence growth has evolved you to a point that the expected behaviour is no longer something you wish to be a part of. The friend or colleague can then be frustrated because you've changed and they don't quite understand the change and they're now not going to get what they want from you.
Both of the above situations have happened to me and also to the clients I work with.
Sometimes self-awareness and emotional intelligence development can be tough, painful and even lonely. That doesn't make it wrong, but instead for some, just a stage on the bigger journey.
This can be a deep subject, so to stop me from rambling on about it, let's jump straight into today's questions/exercises.
Coaching Exercises
1. As you become more self-aware and your emotional intelligence increases, what have been your experiences about "not fitting in" with your environment? How have you responded to these situations? What room for improvement, movement, attitude change, behavioural change etc is still an opportunity for you?
2. Following on from the above, how have others in your personal and professional life responded (or reacted) to your evolution? What have been the good responses of others? What have been the uncomfortable reactions of others? How did you respond for each type? What room for improvement, movement, attitude change, behavioural change etc is still an opportunity for you?
3. Others often don't understand the evolution we're going through. It's our experience, not theirs. That said, we could help them to understand if they're interested and if we have permission to share. What opportunities currently exist for you to help others understand your journey and how it applies to them and your relationship, in a positive, nurturing and supportive way?
4. As a result of your thoughts and process with these questions, what are you committing to?
As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.
All the best,
Noel
Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.
Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org
Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/
November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia
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