IIC Coaching Blog

" Silence is a source ...

... of great strength.” Lao Tzu

In coaching silence is one of the skills that each coach is taught. How to remain silent when the client is talking. How to remain silent when the client has just finished talking. How to remain silent and let your intuition give you your next question.

How do we learn how to do this, when silence is the one thing that makes us feel uncomfortable? Too often in our every day lives, we speak to break the silence, we turn on the TV to break the silence, we turn on our music to break the silence.

Is silence the same as meditation? Some will say yes and others will say no. We will cover meditation in a future blog, but whatever your thoughts on this question - silence is one of the most powerful skills a coach can learn, and a client can benefit from.

In my coaching course we learnt the '3-second rule'. This is where, when the client has finished talking, the student coach learns to wait up to 3-seconds before they say anything - make a comment, make an observation, request clarificfation, share their intuition, or ask a question. In those few seconds it gives the client the opportunity to truly finish their own thoughts ... to maybe carry on talking if they feel that something else should be added to what they've just said ... without feeling that the coach has just 'switched off'. It's a good balance of being silent without making the client feel uncomfortable.

It's true, after a period of time the client will become used to silence; and in my experience relish in them.

How do coaches learn to welcome silence? How do you 'train' your clients? Let us know how you do it.

Barbara J. Dalpra AFC
Vice President
www.internationalinstituteofocoaching.org

Focus In A Nutshell

Personal success is all about focus.  That goes for business success as well.

Usually most people begin tapping into their focus skills-set when they begin a new project, that could be anything from decorating a room in the house, losing weight to plotting a route for a journey.  Either way focus is required and its all part of coaching and personal development.

There are many tools and techniques that coaching professionals have devised over the decades, however, the main element here is to remember what it is that you want to achieve and the why you want to achieve it.

Focus touches all areas of lifestyle; 

• Professional Life which includes working in a job, your career path or business venture
• Financial Security
• Relationships, this includes your emotions and relationship with yourself in respect of self esteem a well with other people including life, work and play
• Home and Family
• Friends and your Social life
• Physical and Mental Health and well being
• Spiritual Awareness
• Community Spirit

How To Manage Your Focus

Decide upon your desired results, weigh up your resources and plot your action plan.

There is no need to have haste as you travel your road to personal and business success.  Remember to be totally focused your 'what' and your 'why' as you ago about your daily life.  Plot your actions in sections and keep the big picture in mind as you take action upon the daily action steps.

Focus is easy when you know how and you can learn more on how to focus from an experienced Life Coach.  The ECI European Coaching Institute has professional coaches registered on its International Coaching Register, check it out and find a coach to help you focus on your goals.

Looking forward...PaTrisha-Anne Todd, LCSi, FECI

• Personal Development and Life Coach, ECI Fellow Coach, Author and Speaker

Empowering women and men to have the advantage...ask me how

LCSi-Education.com

Our Mind should be serving Consciousness

Our Mind should be serving Consciousness, but it has become, within our  five-sense realm, the master of our perception.It controls all 

Fortune favours the prepared mind

In life it is very easy to get carried away with our work and our career, yet it is important to realise that we should spend as much time on our own personal development as we do working at our job.  Remember, leaders are readers and leaders are writers.  Time spent studying and working on yourself is always time well spent.

Play Me, I'm Yours

The Sydney Festival is on, and what a wonderful celebration of the arts, music and dance.  And full of surprises too!

Last night my partner and I went for a walk and at one of the local main public squares, there was a piano set up and a ten year old boy playing it.  (By the way, he was fantastic!)

As it turn out, it's part of the festival to have pianos set up all over the city with the sign "Play Me, I'm Yours" and people can just sit down and play and others can sing along.  Just spontaneous music in the streets.  Love it!

Here's a link to more information about it.



Coaching Exercises

1.  If you came across a piano in a public square, regardless of whether you can play or not, would you sit down and hit a few keys?  If someone else was playing and it was a song you could sing to, would you?

2.  The reason for the above questions is to raise awareness about how comfortable you feel just being open to fun, creative behaviour in public spontaneously.  I'm not saying you "must" be confident at this, but it is something worth exploring.  To what level would you be confident?  What would make you feel unconfident?  What would the benefits be for you and others if you let loose and had fun in this way?  What risks would you be concerned about?

3.  What's one thing you could do today, publicly, that could help you both have fun and be more confident?  (A simple suggestion is make a point of smiling at others while walking down the street, on a train or bus, or even while driving.)

4.  As a result of these questions and your personal exploration and answers, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com
Join our newsletter by clicking here.
You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call it BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus (MECI) is a former member of the Board of Directors and former Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

Michael Leunig Quote

I was reading an article yesterday that included the following quote written by the cartoonist, Michael Leunig, which I found very interesting and inspiring and felt I had to share it right away:

"God help us to change.  To change ourselves and to change the world.  To know the need for it.  To deal with the pain of it.  To feel the joy of it.  To undertake the journey without understanding the destination.  The art of gentle revolution.  Amen."


Coaching Exercises

1.  What does this quote mean to you? 

2.  How well do you think you currently live by these words?  What benefits are you (and others) currently receiving as a result?

3.  What could you do differently that might be more in line with these words?  What would the benefits be to you and others if you did?

4.  As a result of these questions and your personal exploration and answers, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com
Join our newsletter by clicking here.
You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call it BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus (MECI) is a former member of the Board of Directors and former Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

2009 Personal Recipe

A colleague, Marcia Borden, sent me the following personal recipe for 2009 and it seemed quite relevant to share with you all.  Please keep in mind when you read this that there are some references to "God" in Marcia's list.  Feel free to change this reference to whatever makes most sense to you and your belief system.  For example, based on my own belief system, I tend to change these statements to "My Wise Mind" or "Spirituality" or "Greater Consciousness".  You know best what to change it to in order for the tip to be relevant to you and your life.

Enjoy!

A 2009 PERSONAL RECIPE... 
 
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day.  And while you walk, smile.  It is
the ultimate anti-depressant, endorphins work wonders,....so please......

'Don't forget your Endorphins'!!!!
 
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.  Talk to God about
what is going on in your life.  Without silence in your life you cannot hear His voice. 
 
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My
purpose is to __________ today.   I am thankful for______________."
 
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less foods that are

processed/manufactured in plants. 
 
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water.   Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan
salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
 
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
 
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of
the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.  Instead invest
your energy in the positive present moment.
 
8. Eat breakfast like a king/queen, lunch like a prince/princess and dinner like a
college kid with a maxed out charge card.
 
9. Life may not be fair at times, but it's good to be alive!.....Never take a second for

granted, it may be your last.
 
10. Time is limited..... don't waste it in hating anyone, instead move on and leave 

the negative energy behind.
 
11. Don't take yourself so seriously..... No one else does. 

......Life is a transient passage to the final destination....... Have as much fun as possible

on the way to a Heavenly Cloud!

12.  You are not so important that you have to win every argument.  Agree to
disagree.  When challenged look beyond the problem to see the solution.
 
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present. Make plans for the future whilst

staying in the present moment at all times.......This is where life's meaning is found.
 
14. Don't compare your life to others..... You have no idea what their
journey is all about.  Focus on your personal development and empowering your own life.
 
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.....HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB!

..It's your responsibility to work on being happy.....'Don't expect another to provide it'.
 
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years,... 'Will
this matter"? ........and say to yourself 'For every 'bad' that happens there are two 'goods' on the way'.
 
17. Forgive everyone for everything........It lifts a great load off of your shoulders.... It allows

room for love and good fortune to come in. 
 
18. What other people think of you is none of your business....... What you think of yourself matters....

Think good thoughts of yourself and others.
 
19. GOD heals everything...... you just need to ask Him, and follow the signs..... to do this

all you need is to listen to your heart and not your head.
 
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.....In bad, say to yourself

...... 'This too will pass' - In good, say to yourself 'Let me take every second in'.
 
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick....Your family and friends will.
Stay in touch!!!
 
22. Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.  Give away one item every time

you feel the green monster over taking you.
 
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am
thankful for __________.   Today I accomplished _________.
 
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. Turn 'stressed' back to front and indulge in 

low-cal 'desserts' instead!
 
25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings.  You'll be
smiling before you know it. 

26. Pay yourself before you pay anybody else!.......Save 10% of your nett income religiously.

Give away 1% to charity.  Money is an energy that must be circulated, give generously to yourself

and others....Do what you love and working will feel like child's play!

27. Last but not least 'To Thy Own Self Be True'........ No one knows what your spirit needs 

to be happy better than you.......Follow the 'Beat of your own Drum'.... Your heart!

Coaching Exercises

1.  What do you think of Marcia's tips for 2009?

2.  Which of these tips do you already do?   How well and/or how consistently do you do them?  What are the benefits to you and others when you do these behaviours and demonstrate these attitudes?

3.  Which of these tips do you not do now, or do not do consistently yet?  What would the benefits be to you and others if you did?

4.  As a result of these questions and your personal exploration and answers, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com
Join our newsletter by clicking here.
You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call it BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus (MECI) is a former member of the Board of Directors and former Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

Why Kindness is Good For You

A colleague sent me this article to post for you and Why Kindness is Good For You, written by Claire Buckis from Reader's Digest magazine.

You can read the article by clicking on this link.

One of the final comments in the article is that "kindness is a matter of choice".  This seems a brilliant point to start today's coaching questions at.

Coaching Exercises

1.  What are your thoughts about the notion that "kindness is a matter of choice"?

2.  What is your decision process when choosing to be kind or not, generally?

3.  If we put our realistic hat on, there are many times when we might want to be kind but think that we don't have time to do the kindness, or that some other obstacle might get in the way.  Take a few moments and list all of the obstacles you can think of that might stop you from being kind (real or imagined) and then create at least two solutions and/or arguments against those obstacles / limiting beliefs.

4.  As a result of these questions and your personal exploration and answers, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com
Join our newsletter by clicking here.
You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call it BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus (MECI) is a former member of the Board of Directors and former Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

One World

Here is a website sent through to me from a colleague called One World.

OneWorld.net is an online hub publishing news on global issues and providing support to nonprofits helping to create a better world.

Part of their mission is to help Americans find and interact with like-minded individuals.  Of course, it's not just for Americans; it's something all of us could benefit from...knowing who is doing good words, where and how we can help.

There are actually 13 One World centers and the link above is for the US one.  You can find your own regional centre link from the website.

You can also become a One World Partner.  Read here to find out more information.



Coaching Exercises

1.  One of the strongest and most successful strategies for developing one's own self esteem can be in how we help others.  (Please note: we also have to help ourselves at the same time for it to be truly effective.)  What are the ways you currently help others?  You may want to create a list or do some journal writing to take stock of all the many ways you help others.

2.  Once you feel you have a good start on your list of how you help others, consider now how this makes you feel about yourself?

3.  Is there anything you would change in terms of how you help others, or how much, or what else you could be doing for others, or maybe what else you could be doing for yourself?

4.  As a result of these questions and your personal exploration and answers, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com
Join our newsletter by clicking here.
You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call it BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

Making The Switch!

A colleague shared a link with me today about a brilliant new TV show here in Australia on community cable called Making The Switch!

The show provides lots of practical information about what any of us can do to make the switch to being more environmentally conscious and responsible.  It also highlights government and corporate initiatives that qualify for the "good works" title.

Now, I know many of the readers of this blog do not live in Australia, so all of you will be happy to know that you can download past episodes from the website!

Finally, a quick note about how often the environment gets mentioned in this blog.  It's a serious issue for all of us.  Although that might be enough to warrant including it frequently in the blog, I feel an additional explanation is necessary.  For all of the various other topics we talk about and the personal and professional goals each of us is working toward, we always have to think from a coaching perspective about which environments are supporting us on our path.  Typically that refers to the environments of health, knowledge, social, financial, family, partner within, partner, other relationships, spirituality, career, business, giving to others and giving to self (honouring our own needs).  There is of course a much bigger environment which needs to be attended do and that's the one we all share; this planet.

Therefore I feel it's justified to fairly often share information about how we can all work together to support the larger environment we share, so that each of us is supported by it to attend to our other individual and collective needs.


Coaching Exercises

1.  I mention above the environment we typically need to review: health, knowledge, social, etc.  Create a list of all of those environments and rate your current satisfaction in each area on a scale of one to ten.  (Want more information on this?  Go to The Wheels of Life.)

2.  What's one thing you could do to bring yourself from the current score closer to ten or the ideal for each of the environments?

3.  What does the "ideal" situation actually look like for each environment in your mind?  The more you can imagine the ultimate objective, the more inspired you may be.

4.  As a result of these questions and your personal exploration and answers, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com
Join our newsletter by clicking here.
You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call it BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

The Perfect Day - Lessons from a Surfer

A colleague sent me this link today about a wonderful little story called "The Perfect Day" written by Cory Reynolds and published on the ReviewSurfboards.com website.  I've reprinted the story here but please check out the site to see the original.  This is a powerful story to read:

"The Perfect Day" by Cory Reynolds

In May, when I was diagnosed with Leukemia, I bought the surfboard of my dreams; A 10'0" Hobie- Endless Summer Model, the exact replica of the board Michael Hynson rode in 1964 when he traveled around the world filming The Endless Summer. It was the most I'd ever spent on anything besides a house or a car, but it was something to distract me from everything that was going on. Being a collector's item, I was hesitant about actually riding it. Everyone I talked to had something to say about it. Some said "You're crazy to ride it, you'll depreciate the value." Others said, "Boards are meant to be ridden." And a majority of people just said, "Wait for that “Perfect Day;" Wax it up once, take it on a maiden voyage, then hang it up on the wall to be admired." I liked that idea.

Well, for the past five months I've been waiting for that "Perfect Day." Then, yesterday I damaged my other surfboards and I was stuck with a decision; surf The Endless Summer board or don't surf at all. So I woke up early this morning, I took "her" off the wall, rubbed wax all over "her" immaculate deck, and gently loaded "her" into my car.

Now on any given day the north parking lot at Turtles is usually packed with cars, but this morning it was completely empty. "Weird" I thought as I pulled into the front row. I jumped up on a picnic table and looked over the cliff to find that there wasn't a single soul in the water. "Weird" I thought again. Last night the news warned of strong Santana winds today, but the palm trees stood completely still. As I paddled out on my prize 10'0", the sun was rising through a clear blue sky, not another human in the glassy water, the sea was so clear you could see right through the waves to the sand, pelicans glided along the hip high swells, and a leopard shark slid along the sandy bottom.

As the first set of waves rolled in, I turned, paddled, and popped to my feet. I rode that wave all the way into shore and kicked out with a smile from ear to ear. For the next hour I had these perfect little waves all to myself and with no one to talk to, a powerful thought crossed through my mind; The Perfect Day is not something you wait for, it doesn't magically arrive on your nightstand when that alarm goes off, it can't be planned for in advance and circled on the calendar three months from now; The Perfect Day is today! The simple fact that we can see, smell, hear, and feel at this very moment is the most wonderful blessing of all. Each new day should be like each new wave you catch--the very best you've ever had. Make today and everyday your Perfect Day!
 
Love,
 
Cory

Thanks to Cory for a truly remarkable message.  Here are some coaching questions/exercises in response to this wonderful story.

Coaching Exercises

1.  How is today a "perfect day" for you?  Take some time to consider your answer and write down or talk through as much detail as possible.

2.  What gets in the way sometimes for you so that you don't recognise a "perfect day"?  How could you change this?

3.  How could you inspire others to see a "perfect day" any day or even every day?

4.  As a result of these questions and your personal exploration and answers, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com
Join our newsletter by clicking here.
You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call it BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

Making Progress with Sufficient Awareness

A colleague of mine sent me this quote which I thought would be wonderful to share with you:

"If you are unable to make progress it is just that you do not yet have sufficient awareness."  David Hemery

This quote also works with the simple coaching model I frequently talk about:

1.  Raise Awareness
2.  Make Decisions
3.  Modify Behaviour (Take Action)

Coaching Exercises

1.  What does this quote mean to you?

2.  How does this quote currently apply to something you're working on?

3.  What specifically do you need to build more awareness of in order to make more progress and/or achieve your objective?

4. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call is BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org  http://www.internationalcoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

Mastery of Self, Coaching, Business and Industry

There was a fantastic email response to the earlier blog on the argument for coaches to get coached. One of the outcome questions raised to me was "Could you tell us more about Mastery of Self, Coaching, Business and Industry?"

Absolutely. And I'm also running a post-conference workshop on this very topic for the Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference: The Future of Coaching - Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s.

Master of Self, Coaching, Business and Industry

This one day workshop will be held on Saturday 22nd November 2008 in Sydney.

For those of you interested in coming, and for those of you who can't make it, we'll be covering the following:

Mastery of Self:

What do you want for your own life and how you operate? What needs to be worked on in terms of health, knowledge and learning, social, financial, family, the partner within, partner and significant relationships, spirituality, career, business, giving to others and giving to self? We'll be using the Wheel of Life tools to assist in this process.

Mastery of Coaching:

How do you assess your current coaching skills? How do you check in with your clients for feedback on this? What do you want to know how to do better? What do you want to learn? What are your options and in what order do you need to do things? Also, we'll look at how to minimise confusion about how many coaching skills you have and how you'll attract clients as they're not necessarily the same (but many coaches attend course after course on coaching skills but not on business building skills).

Mastery of Business:

Do you have a business plan that works for you as an ongoing guide? What are your business targets? How are you currently measuring them? What are your business skills and how are you using them currently? If there's something that needs to get done that you don't enjoy or don't know how to do, what are your options? What is your marketing plan? How much time, energy, effort are you putting into it? Do you have a coaching profile and who knows about it? We'll spend significant time here as it is generally the area where coaches admit they need the most development.

Mastery of Industry:

Do you know what is going on in the global and local coaching industry? Do you know the key players and what they're doing? Do you understand the public perception of coaching? Do you understand the differences between life, business, workplace, executive coaching and others? Do you know how to develop into new markets? Do you know the research being done and why it's important to be on top of it? Are you a member of one or more professional organisations and do you understand your intentions and objectives there? What energy and effort are you putting into the industry itself and do you understand how that can pay benefits to you directly as well?


There are a lot of questions here and many more to be asked during the workshop. This is a very focused and intense personal and professional planning day. And I can guarantee that you'll get so much value for your $150 that you'll be surprised the investment is so low.

I'm keeping the investment low because I really want everyone who wants some help to step up as a coach to be able to afford to do so. I feel it is part of my purpose right now to be running this event as part of my contribution to the health and wellness of the industry.

Read more in the Conference Invitation Pack.

Or if you're in Australia, email me directly to register.

For those of you who cannot make it to the conference, please email me with your expression of interest to attend massive teleclass on this. The class version will be two or three hours and will cost A$197.00. (The cost is higher because there will be greater operating costs on my end than a workshop event.) I'm just taking expressions of interest now and will likely run this teleclass event in January and February 2009. If there is enough interest I will run it monthly.


Coaching Exercises

1. Read the questions above in the four categories and start writing your own answers to them. If you're not a coach, still work through the questions relative to your situation and modify those that aren't a perfect fit to the logical fit they need to be for you.

2. How do you plan your own personal and professional development now? What works well for you? What needs improvement in your planning and implementation process?

3. If you don't currently have a personal and professional development plan, what are the benefits to you creating one now for both the short and long term?

4. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call is BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

Quick Centering Exercise

A colleague of mine called me yesterday asking for a quick centering exercise to assist one of their clients who is going through a massively busy and stressful period.

Here's the exercise I shared:

1. Stop what you’re doing and find a place to yourself (could just be close the office door, find a park bench outside, etc)

2. Have a glass of water.

3. Breathe (3 x deep and slow in through the nose and out through the mouth.) This can be repeated if necessary. The purpose is to really concentrate on slowing everything down.

4. Run through the senses.

o What do you see? (notice colours, patterns, etc.)

o What do you hear? (check for foreground and background sounds, including your own sounds such as breathing)

o What do you taste? (could be the water just drank, or the mint you just had, whatever)

o What do you smell? (could be related to drink/eat, or perfume, smell of air conditioning, carpet, wood, etc.)

o What do you feel? (two levels here: 1) If you’re touching anything, like clothes, what is the sensation of the fabric. Could be wood, chair, grass, etc. 2) What is the physical sensation for you? For example, if you’re sitting on a hard seat, how does that feel to your muscles, bones, etc. If you took your shoes off, what sensation exists to run toes against a surface?)

5. Breathe again (3 x deeply)

6. Choose what you want to feel for the next hour. Could be “in control”, “confidence”, “strength” etc. Get a picture in your mind of you being that. Keep it simple, just how you would feel and how you would adjust your posture to reflect that feeling.

7. Adjust your posture. What does “confident” for example look like in your posture? Stand up, do the posture.

8. Breathe again (3 x deeply) and connect with the posture and feeling.

9. Move on to your next task, meeting, event etc and carry this new focus with you.

10. Repeat throughout the day as required.


Coaching Exercises

1. Do the exercise listed above.

2. How do you feel as a result? What are the benefits you're experiencing? What's the value of stopping and taking a refocus break like this for you?

3. When could you use this in your day today? How will you remember to do it?

4. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call is BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

What do you want me to write about?

I can tell from the stats that hundreds of people read this blog every week, and I'm very grateful for that. Thank you!

Every now and then readers write in to me to tell me what they would like me to write about; they share challenges etc that they're looking for solutions for and/or they give me tips and permission to share them with you.

Just in case you didn't know you could do this, I'm formally inviting you now to tell me what you want to read about in The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World.

Simply email me with your ideas and requests.


Coaching Exercises

1. If you don't tell people what you want and need, you're leaving it up to them to figure it out on their own. Who do you need to tell what you want and need today?

2. Similarly, others may not be telling you what they want and need. Who do you need to check in with today about their needs?

3. If you're not sure what to say or how to ask the questions to others related to the previous two points, you may want to consider creating a list of things or even some sample questions/statements you could make. The key thing is to not try to come up with the "perfect" question that will reveal all. Instead, come up with a variety of options as the reality of the situations for you will be varied and it could be a good idea to have a few alternatives up your sleeves to match the situations as they occur.

4. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call is BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

Chasing Commitments

One of my pet peeves is chasing people up on their commitments.

It'll be helpful if I help create the image here for you:

- I am a high achiever
- I have high standards
- I typically respond very quickly to any request for anything
- I "do" a lot
- I work up to 100 hours a week (my choices)

Notice how many "I" statements are in there?

This is important to note because this is often how I see myself and then when I am expecting someone else to follow through on their commitments to me, I can often in various ways, compare them to me.

And then I get frustrated, and it's not fair to them or to me.

What's the solution?

Instead of making it a comparison, do a different behaviour:
"Set and Manage Expectations Well"

One of my daily reminders to myself is to set and manage expectations well, which for me includes the following specific and measurable behaviours:

- Check to see if an agreement already exists about understanding of the commitment and the expectations of all parties.
- Ask if the agreement is still in place or if it needs to be renegotiated.
- Ask if there is any other information I need to be aware of including other needs of the people I'm making an agreement with.
- Ask if the other person requires anything from me first in order to honour the commitment.
- Ask if there are any obstacles in the way to honouring the commitment. If there are, ask what the options are for us to overcome the obstacles.
- Sincerely show gratitude; specifically thank the person(s) for honouring the commitment.
- Ensure I am honouring all the commitments I've made out of respect for the other person as well as honouring my own value of integrity.

Now, notice the difference from "I statements" to "other-person-focused questions".

This doesn't necessarily guarantee that people will suddenly start honouring their commitments to me overnight, but it does have the potential to improve the process and the outcomes, by also improving the quality of the relationship.

Coaching Exercises

1. What are your thoughts about the points listed above?

2. How well do you set agreements and manage commitments? What is it specifically that you do well? How do you measure that?

3. What are your opportunities for improvements about setting agreements and managing commitments? If you were to change these things, what sort of outcomes could you expect? How could you plan to make these changes?

4. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

You can now get 100 days worth of The Best Little Life Coaching Blog in the World in e-book form. We call is BRIGHT IDEAS and it is our fundraising project to support The Oasis which helps out homeless youth in Sydney. We publish a new BRIGHT IDEAS volume every 100 days, so you can also order previous volumes to complete your collection. Click here to purchase your copy today and help our young people make a new start in life.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

A beautiful video of art made with just sand and a lightbox. Stunning!

I've found a very interesting video this morning. It's kind of like a music video but features an artist making beautiful images with sand on a lightbox. It's hard to explain, so maybe just watch it...

Learn how to draw at 5min.com

The impact this video had on me when I watched it was one of creativity and inspiration. I found it interesting to see shapes created not just by adding sand, but also by taking it away. Lovely.

So, I thought some artistic content and coaching questions may be in order for today.


Coaching Exercises

1. How would you describe your creativity? Everyone has creativity and the capacity to be creative, so please don't dismiss this question too quickly. Your creativity can manifest in lots of different ways, not just in "art". How and where are you creative?

2. If you see creativity (or some form of it from the previous question) as a strength for you, then how do you leverage that strength? In what situations do you draw upon it to achieve the outcomes you're after?

3. If you feel creativity is not yet a strength for you, what do you wish specifically could be different? What would you like to learn or be able to do better than you do now? What would you like to enjoy more? What are your options to further develop your creativity? Yes, there are options if you're willing to see them.

4. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

What do I do next?

My partner and I had coffee with a friend this morning and after the typical greetings he said:

"I'm taking a survey...do you want to participate?"

We said, "Yeah, sure. What's the survey?"

He said, "What do I do next?"

He provided this really interesting, completely open question which we knew was about his life and career direction, all wrapped up together.

I had to pause and just reflect on the power of just that one question and the potential responsibility that came with participating in answering it.

My first question in return was, "Do you want me to respond as a coach (by the way, our friend is a coach as well) or do you want me to respond as a friend?"

See, there's potentially a huge difference here in terms of the role I play, and with that role, what are my responsibilities.

As a coach, I ask questions.
As a friend, I can make statements and also ask questions.

He gave me permission to answer as a friend. The way I communicate as a person is so blended with being a coach that I know my response was a combination of things. I don't need to share the rest of this story with you about where the conversation when and the outcomes achieved.

But I did want to share that powerful open question, "What do I do next?"

I just thought it was brilliant and it inspired me to rush home and write this, with the intention that the questions which follow might just be of service to some of you reading this.

Coaching Exercises

1. Consider the question for yourself, "What do I do next?" What's your answer from a personal life perspective? What are your options? What would you do if you could anything next?

2. Consider the same question, but this time from a professional life perspective. What are your options? What would you do if you could do anything next?

3. If you asked the significant people in your personal and professional lives the same question about you, and gave them permission to respond in any way that they felt suited them best, what do you think they would say? You may even consider ACTUALLY asking them this question to explore what they think may be best for you. Remember though that if you give them permission, you also have the responsibility of accepting their responses in the most appropriate way.

4. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

Values at Work - Corporate Poetry?

I've had a question sent in to me with a request to answer it in the blog. Here's the question first:

"I work for a company that has a great list of values printed and nicely framed on the wall, but that's as far as it goes. It's a poster, not really how the company operates. Why does this happen with so many companies and what can I do about it as a single employee?"

Thank you for submiting this very interesting area of exploration. It also just happens to be an area I'm very passionate about and sometimes get up on my soapbox for. I'll hold back from ranting, I promise.

This situation is what I call "Corporate Poetry" where the well-intentioned values simply become art on the walls but are not being demonstrated.

The key thing to remember is that in most cases the values were devised and promoted with the best of intentions to help guide the development of the organisation's culture.

Things that could go wrong include (but are not limited to):

- There was no end-to-end stratgy about how the values would work within the culture and how to integrate them throughout business process.

- The values are dictating to the employees how to behave, whereas it may be better to recruit staff who have the right values to achieve the organisation's needs.

- Values are just words unless we also discuss the behaviours which need to be demonstrated. Words won't change the culture, behaviours will.

- There may not be managers confident enough in talking about values as part of the ongoing "coaching for performance" conversation. Instead, they sometimes get rolled out when it's "performance management" which is the opposite of best practice.

- Possibly the values were put up just to create the veneer of caring about these behaviours. If that's the case, many things could go wrong.

I could go on for some time listing issues here, and in some part that's helpful to identify root causes to the current situation. However, I'd like to offer the proposition that the focus could now be on the behaviours that are desired and to see what you can do to inspire the positive behaviours to be consistently demonstrated by yourself first. Then through role modelling, you may be able to inspire others.

Depending on your role and what rights you have in that role, you could also approach the appropriate stakeholders to discuss your concerns and see what role you could play in supporting the organisation to make a change if it is interested in making the change at all.

I don't have enough information from you to give more specific tips, so y ou may also want to consider speaking with a coach directly, or consult a trusted mentor or someone else you think may be able to immediately support you in considering forward moving options.

Thanks again for writing in!

Coaching Exercises

1. Does you company have published values? Where would you find them? Who knows about them?

2. How would you describe how well the values are integrated throughout the organisation? How do the interact with business process? How well do they support the interaction between people including colleagues and customers?

3. When you consider the values, what behaviours would be required to be consistently demonstrated to truly achieve those values? How well do you demonstrate them?

4. What could be improved? Be specific and think on a number of different levels. Try to be solution-focused versus just highlighting what's not working. If you see obstacles and problems associated with values, challenge yourself to see new positive approaches to support the development of a values-based environment.

5. As a result of these questions and your considered responses to them, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

The case for the hand-written letter

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a people who didn't have the technology we have today...

OK, it's us, and it's only about 15 years ago.

Remember when there was no such thing as the Internet? We didn't have products and gadgets that began with a lower case letter i, like iPod and iTunes. We didn't have thing that began with a lower case letter e, like e-books, e-courses and of course e-mail?

How did people communicate?

Well, one thing that existed, and I must admit I miss, was letter writing, which for many was considered an art.

I still look forward to going to the letterbox and collecting the mail, and finding every now and then a hand-written letter.

Typically, it's from one of my older relatives who aren't interested in this new-fangled computer things. (Some still think it's a fad!)

So, today's blog is in tribute to the art of hand-written letter writing. May it not be forgotten!

Coaching Exercises

1. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter to someone? What was the occasion, why the choice to hand-write, etc?

2. What do you think, or know, the impact was on the other person to receive something so personal and which took more time and caring that writing an email?

3. When was the last time you received a hand-written letter? How did you feel about it then? How do you feel about it today after reading this blog?

4. What positive impact could you create for yourself and another by choosing to draft and mail a hand-written letter? Or even just a hand-written note to your partner, or a friend or colleague?

5. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

There is no such thing as "Time Management"

The very first thing I heard in the very first time management course I went to was, "There's no such thing as time management". And it's so true.

You cannot:

- make time
- create time
- set aside time
- budget time
- save time
- lose time
- or manage time

(I'm sure there are more "time" phrases we frequently use, but they're escaping me at the moment.)

The point is that you can not manipulate time (even Dr Who can't do that), but you are responsible for one thing completely:

Your choices!

Therefore "time management" is better termed as "schedule choice management".

If we're really aware of the choices we make now with our time, and what different choices we could make, and the potential outcomes of those choices, then we're in a far better "management" position of our own personal and/or professional lives.

It also fits in with the basic coaching model I often discuss:

1. Raise Awareness
2. Make Decisions (Choices)
3. Modify Behaviour (Take Action)

The more we're aware of our schedule choices, the greater our range of choices and ultimately the more prepared we are to change behaviour.

Coaching Exercises

1. How aware are you of your own language around time? Consider paying attention to how you speak about time and look for the phrases earlier in this blog in your own language choices and the choices of others. How could you be more precise with your language and focus on the choices versus the impossible?

2. Consider your schedule now. What choices have you made? Are you happy with those choices? What new choices could you make? What could the impact be of those new choices?

3. When others make requests of you which are going to impact on your schedule, how do you currently communicate your schedule needs and choices with them? If you're taking on things from others you really don't want or "have time" for, what is behind that choice to take it on? How could you communicate your choices regarding the schedule to others, and open up a conversation about their schedule choices as well, which is appropriate, professional and respectful?

4. In consideration of these questions and your responses, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com  Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

The YouTube Vortex!

My partner has an excellent couple of phrases he uses when he gets caught up with some unproductive (but enjoyable) distractions on the internet. For him, it's either that he's been caught in the "YouTube Vortex" or if he's in a music-centered-distraction zone, then it's the "iTunes Shop Vortex". Regardless of which path he takes, the path leads him away from the work he was intending on doing.

As you may have guessed, my own vortex nemesis is the "TED Vortex" or a number of other sites I go to for humour.

I have done quite of bit of workplace coaching, training and consulting and one of the things we forecast when looking at work productivity is the amount of time per hour to allocate to unproductive activity. In call centres for example, it's often estimated to be about six minutes per hour.

In some other environments, it's about 15 minutes per hour.

So, I'm curious (as I think you might be) how much "unproductive" time we spend getting sucked into various black holes in the internet? If I ran a research study on this, I'm sure I'd end up in another vortex and never get the task done.

So, we'll just have to use the following coaching questions then, that is if we don't get distracted.


Coaching Exercises

1. How much time do you spend on the Internet per day?

2. How would you categorise the time spent? What types of activities are you doing? What types of sites do you visit? How much time per activity of category seems about average for you?

3. How would you rate, measure and/or describe how productive the time you're on the internet is? Keep in mind that some uses of the internet are just for entertainment which can itself be a productive use. I'm not judging you. Just explore what, when, where, why, why not, how etc of your internet usage, INCLUDING the distractions (as you would define them) such as the "vortex" examples mentioned in today's blog.

4. In consideration of these questions and your responses, what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

Visionary or Dreamer?

I heard another interesting debate on the radio about the difference between a "Dreamer" and a "Visionary" and whether or not one was better or more effective than the other.

Of course, I also have my opinions about this but I don't necessarily want to overtly sway your own coaching exploration of this topic.

That said, here are today's questions:

Coaching Exercises

1. In your opinion, what is a "dreamer"?

2. What do dreamers create and/or what are their benefits to society?

3. What are the risks that come with being a dreamer, if any?

4. In your opinion, what is a "visionary"?

5. What do visionaries create and/or what are their benefits to society?

6. What are the risks that come with being a visionary, if any?

7. What can visionaries learn from dreamers?

8. What can dreamers learn from visionaries?

9. How can these two work well together?

10. In response to these questions and your own exploration, including which of these two you are (or you could be both), then what are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Check out The Inaugural ECI Australasian Coaching Conference - The Future of Coaching: Embracing the Opportunities of the 2010s at http://www.europeancoachinginstitute.org/conference_2008/

November 20-22, 2008 - Sydney Australia

What would you write?

One of the things I was taught when a teenager was about writing to local politicians with questions and comments, so that I could learn more about government and also be more active and engaged in conversations and debates regarding public policy, laws, the environment, etc.

To this day, I still routinely write letters to various government officials including the Prime Minister of Australia. I'm pleased to report that I've received responses to every single inquiry, although most were responded to by the aides of the government official.

I may not always agree with the responses received, but I enjoy receiving it, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to engage at that level.

So, I'm curious what you would write about and to whom.


Coaching Exercises

1. Who would you write to in local government and what would the topic be, including any questions you may ask or solutions you'd propose?

2. What about at a state, province or territory level?

3. What about at a federal level?

4. What about to the United Nations or some similar international body?

5. In all of the above how would you ensure that your message was written in a fair and professional way to increase the chance that it will be received well and responded to in kind?

6. In all of the above what compliment or acknowledgement of the government's efforts could you provide so that they also feel that there is some recognition for the work they do, even if you don't fully agree with the quality of their work?

7. In all of the above how would you offer solutions and suggestions in a considered manner?

8. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Apologising Well

Learning to apologise well is a crucial life skill to have.

Recently, I've really had to put mine to the test due to a couple of different technology glitches which occurred and I hadn't known about, which affected other people.

Of course, when I first found out about each of these two errors, I was mortified. And my first reaction was to immediately apologise. However, I also knew I needed to do a few things first, such as research the error to see if I could figure out how it happened and therefore to be able to solve it so that it wouldn't happen again to anyone else. I also had to separate my emotional stress about the errors from the process of apologising or it might have a negative impact. The process I ended up taking has for the most part resulted in the apologies accepted and appreciated, which I'm very grateful for.

So, I thought it might be helpful to share a few tips about apologising well.

1. If someone believes that you were capable of making the error or doing the thing that an apology is requested, it doesn't matter whether you did the thing or not, or did it innocently or maliciously, the focus is on the concern that it was possible you did it at all. This means focusing on the feelings, perceptions and needs of the other person above your own needs. (Your needs can also be met, but the other person is the priority in the first instance.)

2. When you make the apology, you need to really mean it. People can sniff out a fake from a mile away. If you don't mean it, you might as well not give it until you do.

3. There's almost always an opportunity to research the mistake, or simply analyse the behaviour, beliefs, cause and effect, consequences, etc. Learn from it. That doesn't mean however that in the apology you start making excuses or justify the action. That's not an apology, it's being defensive. However, if an explanation could benefit the needs of the person or people you're apologising to, then that may be worth while to provide. Particularly if the information you provide leads to a solution and/or a promise that the mistake is unlikely to ever happen again.

4. Be sure to acknowledge the feelings of the other person, and it is also OK after that to share your own feelings if relevant and appropriate to the situation, such as sharing how mortified you are that the offending thing occurred in the first place. The point is however that their feelings need to be acknowledged first and foremost if you're being sincere.

5. Follow-up your apology if necessary. If you said you'd do something to rectify the situation, do it. If you don't do it, then your apology was just words.


Coaching Exercises

1. Consider a time you apologised well. What did you do that made it a successful apology? What did you learn.

2. Consider a time you didn't apologise well. What wasn't working? What did you learn?

3. Is there someone you need to apologise to now? How do they need the apology constructed and delivered? What are their feelings and needs about this?

4. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Aim for the company of immortals

Today's quote for exploration is from David Ogilvy:

"Don't bunt. Aim out of the ball park. Aim for the company of immortals."

I love it! Here are some questions for you to explore this personally for yourself.

Coaching Exercises

1. In your opinion, what does this quote mean?

2. When have you "bunted" in life instead of aiming to hit the ball out of the park? What was the outcome for you and others? Looking back, if you had tried to hit it out of the park, what could the outcome have been for you and others?

3. WHen you have aimed for the company of immortals, what was the outcome for you and others? What have you learned and/or gained from that experience?

4. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Being a Petulant Child

Today's blog topic might just be uncomfortable for some. It certainly is for me when I'm really honest with myself.

Have you ever, or are you now, being a petulant child?

How do you know? Here are some tell-tale characteristics:

- Throwing a tantrum, or getting up on your high horse, when things don't go your way
- Emotionally "reacting" versus "responding"
- Being demanding of others about what you want without taking into consideration their perspective, wants and needs
- Sulking
- Self-sabotaging so that you can say, "see, I told you it wouldn't work!"
- Not taking responsibility for something you really know was your responsibility, claiming that it's someone else's fault
- Any situation where you're responding more like a child than as an adult would (this includes work situations!)

Just in case you're wondering which of these I do, well at this stage of my personal and professional evolution the one that still shows up from time to time is the self-sabotaging. I'm far more aware of when I'm doing it now, so I can also stop myself in my tracks and stop the limiting thinking and behaviours.

Awareness is the first step to change, so let's explore some questions to help you raise your awareness.


Coaching Exercises

1. When have you acted more like a petulant child than an adult recently? What was the outcome you were intending when thinking and behaving that way? Did you achieve what you wanted to?

2. Consider the same situations again. What would/could have been different if you acted more like a responsible adult in the situation? Now that you're exploring this in hindsight, what have you learnt?

3. In what situations are you likely now and in the future to act more like a child than a responsible adult? What habits have you identified you have? What benefits might there be, for you and others, if you change some of these habits?

4. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

My Way Lyrics - An Interesting Coaching Study

Ever get a song in your head and you can't get it out until you either replace it with another tune, or decide it's there for a reason and therefore you have to do something with it?

This morning, "My Way" by Frank Sinatra was in my head.

Have you ever paid attention to the words? It's one of the most sung Karaoke songs around, but have we really paid attention?

Here are the lyrics as written by P. Anka, J. Revaux, G. Thibault, C. Frankois:

MY WAY

And now, the end is here
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and ev'ry highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way"

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

[instrumental]

Yes, it was my way


Coaching Exercises

1. When you really consider these lyrics, what meaning is there in them for all of us?

2. Following on from the previous question, what is the specific message for you?

3. If you hadn't heeded these messages before, what opportunities do you have now and for your future?

4. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

Exercising the Mind

Every day, without fail, I do a Su Doku puzzle. I have friends and family, of all ages, who do crosswords and other sorts of puzzles, games and exercises.

I think we all do it because it's enjoyable at some level for us.

It also happens to be great exercise.

There are various studies available in an Internet search which make claims about how important it is to do mental exercises like these on a daily basis to keep our mind "worked out" just like we might for our physical health.

(To be honest, I'm more consistent at keeping up the mental exercise regime than I am the physical one.)

Here are today's coaching questions:

Coaching Exercises

1. How do you exercise your mind? What exercises do you do and how often?

2. Do you ever increase the exercises, over time, to raise the bar on your mental agility? It's kind of like someone lifting weights and increasing the load, or for endurance and trying to go farther than you have before. What do you do?

3. If you feel there is an opportunity to exercise your mind more, what options do you believe are available and attractive to you?

4. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Noel Posus is on the Board of Directors and is the Head of Marketing - Asia Pacific for The-ECI - www.europeancoachinginstitute.org

End of Financial Year Achievements!

Today is the last day of the Financial Year in Australia, and for me it's a time of reflection on the past year. Just like at New Year's, we can explore what our accomplishments have been as well as the lessons learned, and to begin to make plans for the next year.

For those of you where the financial year ends at the end of the calendar or another time, consider this a mid-point or a regular check in on your achievements.

So, thinking about my achievements over the past twelve months (and many of these with extraordinary help from others), here's a short list of the higlights:

- Launched askacoach.com
- Created thousands of pages of support documentation for the system
- Trained 40 expert coaches on the system
- Created a Resource Library of coaching tools with over 500 items!
- Launched coaching services in Mandarin and Cantonese with my Chinese Australian colleagues
- Launched the www.incredibleawareness.com site
- Wrote 13 books! (Editing the 14th at this time)
- Filmed 65 coaching tutorial videos (launching soon with the books - watch this space)
- Named to the Board of Directors for the European Coaching Institute (The-ECI)
- Numerous successful workshops, including "Wisdom at Work" and "Coaching for Peak Performance in the Workplace"
- Designed and delivered 12 Teleclasses
- Numerous articles published in magazines and newspapers, as well as a number of radio interviews

The list is actually longer, but I must say I'm pretty darn proud of these accomplishments.

Am I bragging or showing off? No, absolutely not.

It's very important to document your achievements and celebrate your strengths. This comes out of Positive Psychology (something I'm a keen student of) where the focus is on strengths versus weaknesses.

Now it's time for you to make your list!

Coaching Exercises

1. Consider the past twelve months. What have been your greatest accomplishments? Write them down.

2. For the same time period, what have been the other accomplishments? Consider what you've achieved (even if it seems trivial) in health, knowledge, social, financial, family, the relationship with yourself, the relationships with others, spirituality, career, business, community and giving to others and to self in general.

3. If there was anything you didn't fully accomplish, did you at least accomplish part of it? Write down everything you achieved in part as well, as these also count!

4. What strengths have you identified in yourself as a result of this exercise?

5. What strengths do you want to leverage more moving forward?

6. What are you committing to?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercises, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Join our newsletter by clicking here.

Have Great Friends

A dear friend of mine (and he's also a brilliant coach!) has this fantastic e-book called Have Great Friends , which I thought you might like to know about. The subtext is How to do it from someone who does. And I must say, he does know what he's talking about, so please check it out.

Coaching Exercises

1. What does "friendship" mean to you?

2. Many people might say that they have different types of friends. For example, acuaintances, good friends, best friends, friends for a reason, season or lifetime, etc. How do you describe the different types of friends you have and what purpose does that differentiation make to you? For example, would you do more for one type of friend than another?

3. Having great friends often starts with being a great friend in the first place. How good of a friend are you? How are you measuring that? What feedback do you have to support that?

4. If you're not attracting and retaining the type of friends you want and need right now, what needs to be changing? Is it something about you? Is it something about your friends? Is it somethign about where you meet? Think carefully and then determine what you can commit to, and then put it into action.

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercies, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Career Coaching: Redundancy is a Gift

I do a lot of career coaching and one of the more common situations these days that I get to work with is when someone is made redundant at work. (Actually, when I first moved to Australia eleven years ago I had to quickly learn new terms. For example, in the USA "redundancy" would actually be referred to as someone being "layed off".)

I must admit, every time someone tells me they've been made redundant, or that they're about to be, the first thing I always say is, "Congratulations!"

Why?

Well, the way that I see it, as do many of the people I work with, being made redundant is like being given the keys to the city (or some may refer to it as the keys to open their jail cell).

It can clear the path so that you can try something new, to pursue something different, and/or to finally follow your dreams.

And sometimes, the person may also get a decent financial pay out which can ease some of the pressure that might have got in the way of taking the leap and go after what they wanted earlier.

So, here are some questions related to career, redundancy and starting anew.

Coaching Exercises

1. Have you ever been made redundant before? How did you feel at the time, and what did you do next? (If you haven't been made redundant, you could consider the same question if you've been fired for any reason.) What did you learn about yourself from that experience? What strengths did you find in you that you may not have noticed before?

2. If you were given an opportunity today to change and do something different, and there was no issue about money or the risk of failure, what would you be doing instead? Would you still do it if there was some risk of failure?

3. How do you feel about "risk" in general? How do you evaluate it? What impact does it have in your decision making processes? What role does it play when you're considering your career and opportunities you're presented with? Can you see any potential value if you were a bit more open to risk? Do you feel you need to be a bit less risky than you are now, and what's behind that belief?

4. It can be very easy for us to focus on our past career steps, achievements and or mistakes, versus focusing on our future career vision and opportunities. Which do you focus on more? What is your current focus providing you? If you focus on the past more than the future, what benefits might you achieve if you switched focus? Do you have a professional development plan, in writing? Could now be the time to develop one?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercies, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

The Five Keys to Success by Matt Church (and Noel Posus)

I've recently joined a group called Thought Leaders , which is defined as:

"We help clever people be commercially smart using our revolutionary business model. A framework for doing business better, faster and easier that’s poised to change the way business is conducted forever. More of a movement than an organisation, Thought Leaders helps our members achieve financial freedom faster!"

Thought Leaders is lead by one of my personal heroes, Matt Church. I was at a Presentation Skills and Keynote Address Master Class run by Matt yesterday where I was reminded of his Five Keys to Success, and I thought it would be good to share these with you today and then ask you some coaching questions about them.

The Five Keys to Success are Desire, Belief, Focus, Commitment and Action.

Coaching Exercises

1. Define each of the five keys to success for you. Just focus on what you think they mean in this step.

2. The next step is to determine what you want to be successful at. This is important so that we have a context for the next two exercises. Keep in mind that you can repeat exercises two through four again and again for each "thing" you want to be successful at. For example, you may do this process once for being successful as a leader, and again as a parent, and again as an author or a friend or an athlete. It's totally up to you.

3. Now, for the area that you want to be successful at, rate yourself on a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten the highest, in each of the five keys to success. You are only measuring how you are today. How much desire do you have today? How much do you believe in yourself today? How focused are you today on your goal? How much commitment do you have today toward being a success? And how well are you following through today on the necessary actions required to achieve success?

4. At this stage, you know what you want (but now maybe that's been questioned a bit) and you know how well you're doing (or not doing) right now. So it's logical to think that it's also fairly obvious what you need to change to be more successful. What do you need to change? What is the impact if you don't change? What will the benefits be if you do (other than just being successful)? When and how are you going to change? How are you going to keep yourself accountable, or who are you going to ask to do that?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercies, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Is the Platypus the Missing Link?

OK, this one is going to seem like it's come out of left field, and well, I'm alright with that.

I read a story this morning that the genome of the Australian platypus has finally been decoded. What they've found is that this interesting little critter is part mammal, part bird and part reptile. I didn't know they had venom, did you?

So, why am I sharing this? Well, something tells me that we can use the platypus story as a metaphor as we explore our own self-awareness.

Please read the article from ABC News online here . (If you're reading this blog entry some time after it has been written there's a chance the link will no longer be active. If that's the case, just Google "platypus genome decoded" and I'm sure you'll find an interesting article.)

Coaching Exercises

1. The platypus is a combination of things, and it could be argued that it's taken some of the best qualities throughout its evolution to become what it is today. In your own life experience, you have had the chance to pick up, or discard, qualities along the way. What have you kept? What have you discarded?

2. The platypus is still evolving, as are we all. What qualities do you have now that you want to keep, celebrate and/or enhance? What qualities do you want to minimise or diminish?

3. Carrying on from the previous question, what specifically is your goal? Write it down.

4. And following through, what is the plan to achieve your goal? What are you going to do in the next 24 hours? What are you going to do after that? What are the milestones along the way? How will you measure that you've achieved your goal? How will you celebrate achieving the objective?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercies, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Mondays - Choose Your Attitude

It's Monday.

More than that, it's the Monday after a long public holiday weekend. (Well, here in Australia anyway)

For some people reading this, those two lines just made their shoulders slump, their face drop and the mood decline.

Why?

Because for many, there's an attitude habit that Mondays are a dreary beginning to the work week; that Mondays are tiring; that Mondays are depressing.

If you have this habit of attitude, is it serving you well in a healthy way, or is it just giving you common ground to commiserate with others?

Interested in breaking some old habits today?

Coaching Exercises

1. What do you think of first about "Mondays" or whatever day may be the start of your work week? Would you classify it as a positive or a negative thought or emotion?

2. You have the opportunity to choose your attitude in every moment, including how you feel about Mondays. What's the best attitude you can choose to have on this day? What do you suspect that healthy and positive attitude will bring to you and others? (Cause and Effect)

3. There may be things that happen today that challenge your attitude. In fact, some may even try to convince you to go back to your old negative attitude habits. How will you keep yourself on a positive attitude track today?

4. How can/will you inspire others to rethink their attitude choices today? (Please remember to seek permission before "coaching" anyone, if that is one of the options you believe you have available to you.)

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercies, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Asking for Help

Asking others for help seems to be a very difficult and challenging concept for many people. It might bring up feelings of inadequacy or there could be a fear that other people will think we're "needy." When we're not asking for help, there's typically some form of fear behind it. And if you're thinking that some people don't ask for help because they're arrogant and don't think they need help, I might suggest they have some fear as well (just possibly better hidden, or maybe actually, more obvious).

So, today's coaching exercises are about asking for help.

Coaching Exercises

1. On a scale of one to ten, with ten being the most comfortable, how comfortable are you generally about asking for help when you need it?

2. What situations do you wish you could ask for help at some level, but you typically don't? What is it about these situations that makes you feel you can't or "shouldn't" ask for help? Are these reasons based on facts or feelings?

3. Sometimes the people who care for us really would love to help if only we gave them the opportunity and permission to. How open are you to letting family, friends and colleagues offer and follow through to help you?

4. If you knew of someone who you thought could use some help but hasn't asked for it, what would you do? Do you feel comfortable asking permission to help?

As always, if you need any further personal support in response to any of these coaching exercies, please consider using the askacoach.com service.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Gratitude - Part One of Many

Gratitude is the topic that throughout my coaching career I have written the most frequently about, therefore I've titled this blog entry as Gratitude - Part One of Many as I will certainly be writing again and again and again about this.

Of all the great paradigm shift we can make, I don't believe anything is more powerful than moving from just about any negative emotion and attitude to one of gratitude.

For example, if you're feeling as if you are not smart enough to do something, then consider what how smart you actually are in any number of other categories, situations and topics and be grateful for that first. The difference is that once you start acknowleding and and grateful for what you have, you start seeing new opportunities to use what you have. Things you didn't know how to do before, you now suddenly find ways of learning how to do it.

There are many applications to this principle and I'm sure that over time, we're going to discover quite a few of them together.

Coaching Exercises

1. Here's a very simple exercise one of my colleagues asked me to publish in this blog for him, and I'm grateful to be able to do so: "Would you like ti know a really simple way of making your life really great each day? Yes? Just simply write down 5 things each day that you are grateful for. Start your list now, and each day just add to it. It is OK if things appear more than once on your list. When things appear several times, then you being to understand what thingsw in life you are really grateful for." It's a great little exercise my colleagues suggests, and you may find it helpful to keep a Gratitude Journal on hand to write down these inspirations.

2. A step further on the above exercise is to keep the Gratitude Journal near the front door of your home, visible, open and with a pen always there. You can invite visitors to your home to jot down notes of what they're grateful for in life in general. This way, you're encouraging others to celebrate their abundance.

3. Come up with a gratitude-focused exercise of your own. Keep it for yourself or share it with others. (They may be quite grateful to you for sharing it with them.)

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Making Things Happen Just By Thinking About Them?

I am a big believer that if you can think positively and be willing to imagine something as possible, then it is possible. I understand things like the "Law of Attraction" and "manifesting" like you've seen in the film The Secret (Extended Edition) (The book is good read as well.)

But, don't get me wrong, I don't simply believe that just because I think about something, it'll happen. But close.

I'll give you an example which I think illustrates the point quite well.

When I first worked with my very own life coach, he had me write lists daily of things I wanted for my life, and I had to write these dreams, wants, needs and goals, just in point form, under a number of different categories such as health, friends, career, places to go, things to learn, etc. Essentially, every week I was just brainstorming about 50+ items that I would like in my life.

I was asked to only create lists. I was not given any other instructions.
Meanwhile, my coach and I continued to work on the three topics I came to him to help me with.

At the end of 12 weeks working together, my coach asked me to get out the notebook with my dreams lists, and he had me put a tick mark next to each item that I had achieved or gained in part or altogether. As I went through the pages, I realised I was putting in a lot of tick marks. At the end of the exercise I counted them up.

I had achieved 103 things completely or partially!

I hadn't created any plans to create these. They just happened. Or did they?

Realistically, what happened here was that I acknowledged what I wanted, and in doing so, I became more open to pursuing it.

I did take action. I did see new opportunities and seize them. I did get curious about things I hadn't spent time on before. I did start to make things happen.

What I didn't do, was sit on my backside and wait for the things to happen to me simply because I "manifested" them. That's not how it works. I manifested the environment for great things to occur, by developing a great attitude, and being open to possibilities, and being willing to act. To me, that was the greatest secret I could ever have learned; my own potential to follow my dreams.

Coaching Exercises

1. Consider starting a "Dreams/Wants Journal" and every day or week, write down one or two items you want in each of the following categories:

- Health
- Knowledge
- Social
- Financial
- Family
- Personal Development
- Relationships
- Spirituality
- Career or Business
- Giving to Others, Humanity, Animals, Nature, the World
- Places to Go
- People to Meet

2. Every now and then go back and check what you've written and put tick marks next to those you've achieved or partly achieved, and consider what has changed for you that suddenly these things have occurred without neceesarily a documented plan in place.

As always, if you need any support with, or as a result of this exercise please consider www.askacoach.com for email and/or phone coaching.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Learned Optimism

I love the book, Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life by Dr. Martin Seligman who is one of the leaders in the positive psychology field, and someone whose work I turn to often when working with my coaching clients.

The book starts with a very simple message - There are two ways of looking at life. We either imagine the worst or we can visualise a great outcome. We're faced with this choice of perspective mutliple times throughout the day, starting from the moment we wake up. Will today be a good day or a bad one?

I'm a confirmed optimist. I can always see the positive opportunities in any situation. And yes, sometimes that can be annoying to my family and friends, but I'm OK with that too.

Now, this doesn't mean that I'm just light, fluffy and being blind to the realities of life. No, not at all, because I'm also a realist. It just so happens that I believe that an optismistic present and future is a realistic outcome to expect if I am willing to put in the necessary effort to achieve it.

It starts with attitude and is folllowed up by action - both of which need to be positive. I believe I've learned how to do this throughout my life and I continue to get even better at it, with even better results. For me, I've learned optimism. Can you?

Coaching Exercises

1. In your own words, define what optimism means to you.

2. What is the purpose of optimism? Are there any drawbacks?

3. When you are around someone who is optimistic and positive, what imact does that have on you?

4. When you are optimistic and positive, do you notice an impact on those around you?

5. If you would describe yourself as more pessimistic than optimistic, what has been behind that general choice of perspective for you?

6. What do you think might be diferent for you if you learned to be more optimistic?

As always, if you need any support with, or as a result of this exercise please consider www.askacoach.com for email and/or phone coaching.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Common Sense is Not So Common

I was teaching a class a few days ago and in the course of the conversation with the participants I used the phrase, "Common sense isn't that common."

I knew I wasn't the first person to say it, and I was pretty sure I couldn't just give my parents credit for this one either (although it is something I heard them say often). A quick internet search has found the source, Voltaire, who specifically said, "Common sense is not so common."

Coaching Exercises

1. What does the term common sense mean to you? If you want, schedule a few minutes to explore this on the Internet and check for some other people's definitions as well. You may not find a "common" agreement, however.

2. Do you identify yourself has someone who has a fair amount of common sense? What benefits does this bring you?

3. If you do not identify yourself as having a lot of common sense, what are some strategies you could put in place to improve that situation? Do you need to explore things with a bit more care? Or maybe it's asking more questions? Or maybe taking more time before making decisions?

4. Do you know anyone who you feel not only has common sense but uses it well? Where did that person get it from? What specifically are they doing with it? What can you learn from them?

As always, if you need any support with, or as a result of this exercise please consider www.askacoach.com for email and/or phone coaching.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Empathy in Action

One of my favourite websites is TED which has videos of the world's most amazing and entertaining speakers.

The video I've selected for today is Daniel Goleman: Why Aren't We All Good Samaritans? .

Daniel Goleman is famous for writing the books, Emotional Intelligence, Working With Emotional Intelligence, and more recently Social Intelligence - all of which are standard coaching texts.

I tend to find videos that will promote conversation. This video is only 13 minutes long and I believe you'll find to be very interesting.

Coaching Exercises

1. Daniel mentions that we're all born with empathy, however we choose to turn it off for any number of reasons. What does empathy mean to you? Do you have any conditions around when you are empathetic and when you are not?

2. Daniel also shares with us examples of commercial empathy, where the choice of a product's development takes into consideration an empathetic view of the people and things the production of that product will impact. Do you ever consider the impact on others when you purchase a product or service?

3. Finally, Daniel shared a story at the end of the video about "not noticing" others. How do you typically respond in similar situations?

As always, if you need any support with, or as a result of this exercise please consider www.askacoach.com for email and/or phone coaching.

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

The Seven Caring Habits vs The Seven Deadly Habits

Today's we're looking at the Seven Caring Habits and the Seven Deadly Habits as written about in, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedomby the William Glasser Institute.

Choice Theory states that:

- all we do is behave
- that almost all behaviour is chosen
- that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love/belonging, power, freedom and fun

And it highlights the Seven Caring Habits and the Seven Deadly Habits of our behaviour choices. Here they are for you to compare:

Seven Caring Habits

1. Supporting
2. Encouraging
3. Listening
4. Accepting
5. Trusting
6. Respecting
7. Negotiating Differences

Seven Deadly Habits

1. Criticizing
2. Blaming
3. Complaining
4. Nagging
5. Threatening
6. Punishing
7. Bribing, rewarding to control

Coaching Exercises

1. Each of the seven caring habits are on one end of a spectrum, and the deadly habits the other, or in other words opposing behaviour. However, much of the time, we can slide back and forth along that spectrum depending on the situation. Generally speaking, how well do you think you behave?

2. If you do want to measure this with a bit more detail, then rate yourself against all 14 habits on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is "I nearly never behave this way" and 10 is "I nearly always behave this way." Use the same measurements system whether it's a caring or deadly habit. Once you're done, how do you feel about your answers?

3. Are there any behavioural traits you are willing to commit to changing? In what circumstances? Do you have a plan to accomplish this? do you need help?

4. The only person whose behaviour you can control is your own. That said, if you were to consistently demonstrate the Seven Caring Habits, what impact might that have on others around you?

All the best,
Noel

Noel Posus - Master Coach
www.askacoach.com

Coaching Tips for All Levels

Quick Tip:    Coach only those clients who have come of their own accord! 

From time to time, you will have a parent who will ask you to Coach their “problem child”.  Or, a manager will ask you to Coach one of their “problem employees”.  Two thoughts here:

1.  Ensure that the child/employee truly wants the Coaching.  If they are there to please their parent or their boss, the results will not be the same because their heart will not be into the process.  Make sense?  Get into the habit of asking your Client “Are you here of your own accord?”  If they aren’t, have a conversation about the benefits of Coaching for them.  This could shift a paradigm and allow them to work with you whole-heartedly.  In addition this question is written right into the Coaching Contract which they sign prior to the beginning of the coaching process. 

2.  Whenever a parent or manager requests that I coach someone, I usually engage them in a conversation about the benefits of having both parties participate in Coaching.  I emphasize that relationships are always “a two way street”.  The manager, for example, could learn how to better communicate with this “problem employee”.  The parent could learn how to assist their child in developing innovative solutions to problems and challenges. 

Coaching Tips for All Levels

Quick Tip:  Never be tempted to mentor your Client mid session. 

Scenario:  You are in the middle of a coaching session with a Client.  Suddenly, your Client turns to you and asks something like “So Coach, what would you do in this situation if you were me?”  In other words they are asking for your opinion in the middle of a session … and it is tempting!  You are simply gushing over with ideas to help them!  Don’t do it. 

Remember that coaching is primarily about asking the Client questions so that they can come up with their own answers.  If you stop and mentor (share your ideas) before the Client has thoroughly explored the situation themselves and the emotions have been addressed, the Client’s brain is not ready to receive the ideas because the physiological receiver (receptor) is still constricted*.  The Client could shut down and not take action on any ideas because they may go into fear.  It could shut them down for years.  (Experience is the teacher here.)

Mentor

only at the end of the coaching session during the planning stage and only if the Client gives you permission to do so.

* Read about receptors in "Molecules of Emotion" by Candace Pert, PhD, Neuroscientist.  Listen to her genius CD entitled "Your Body is Your Subconscious Mind". 

Coaching Tips for all Levels

Quick Tip:  Clients prefer a non-directive approach to coaching.

Source:  Bacon, T.R. and Spear, K.I. (2003).  “Adaptive Coaching”.

45% of over 2000 Fortune 500 executives surveyed said:

“60% would like better coaching”, “45% said that getting coaching with their current coach has not had much positive impact on their work performance”, “65% said they prefer a non-directive style of coaching and 83% prefer a coach who asks questions to help me explore issues myself”.

A large proportion of Executives, therefore, prefer a non-directive approach, they want the coach to help them explore for themselves and they want results. 

A wise move therefore, at the beginning of the coaching relationship, is to ask your Executive what type of approach s/he prefers.   

Moreover, arm yourself with superior coach training and personal credentials because Executives usually give you only one chance.  Make it a good one. 

Coaching Tips for all Levels

Quick Tip:  A “light” approach keeps Clients coming back for more.

A great Coach creates an “enjoyable” experience for the Client from beginning to end of the session.  There is “lightness” in the approach to represent hope and acceptance that all fears can be eliminated through The Law of Life:  “Love is stronger than fear.” 

Therefore, no matter how serious the challenge or goal, there are many ways to add lightness: a smile, kindness, a cup of herbal tea, honouring them for exhibiting a spiritual value such as courage, commitment, compassion and so on. 

If you are someone who hugs, save the hug for the end of the session.  Too early in the process a hug could easily keep the Client in victim mode.

Top 10 Tips on Goal Setting

1. Write it down
2. List the benefits to yourself
3. Affirmations
4. Where are you today?
5. Identify investments and sacrifices
6. Levels of knowledge
7. Support
8. Design and develop your plan
9. Set your deadlines
10. Celebrate – how will you reward yourself?

The most important thing about goals, is having one.
Geoffry F. Abert

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